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13 years and three days ago, 22 year old, Matthew Shepard was attacked, in Laramie, Wyoming for being gay. He was beaten, tied to a fence, pistol-whipped, and left for dead only to be found nearly 18 hours later by a passing cyclist. The only part of him that wasn't covered with blood being the streaks down his face that showed that he'd been crying. Matthew was in a coma when he was found, and never regained conciousness before he died on October 12, 1998.

Last year, I traveled to the University of  Northern Iowa where Matthew's mother, Judy Shepard, was spreading awareness against homophobia and hate crimes, and telling her son's story as an example of how cruel and merciless they can be. She told us how horrible it was to see her son on life support, knowing that he wouldn't survive, but still never giving up hope. She told us how she spared the murderers from the death sentence and have them face life in prison instead because she knew that seeing that they died wouldn't bring her son back.She told us her memories of her son, his childhood, his education, his coming-out, and their final moments. And finally, she told us how everybody should remember her son not just for the way he died but for the wonderful life he had and what his future might have been.

At the end, She asked the audience to put forth any questions or comments regarding anything that they were concerned about. After gathering the courage to ask, I found myself last in line to speak with her. One by one, the questions and comments went by, to some Judy replied with jokes and laughter, to others she responded with sympathy and compassion. And then there was me. I was standing in front of the microphone, listening to the sound of my breath being amplified by speakers around me. I took a breath, and said,

"I just wanted to say that I think it is outstandingly courageous what you do and what you stand for. If I may ask, How is it that you have the strength to talk about your son in such detail from life to death, without bursting into tears?"

She then, caught me completely off-guard, and burst into tears. I didn't understand. How did my single comment send her over the edge? It was like she was on Auto pilot and my comment brought her back to Earth.  Confused, I went on-stage to do the only thing I know how to do when a person has reached the point of tears. I climbed onstage and gave Judy Shepard a hug. Following my example, more people climbed onstage and joined us. The giant group hug soon ended and as people returned to their seats, Judy was applauded as she walked offstage. I will never forget this experience.